That Man is You!

I post a lot on social media about Joseph, and things that he does and says, and how he’s grown.  He is truly my pride and joy! A few years ago, I was one of those people saying, “man, more kid pictures and stories? Can’t these people talk about something else?”  It’s amazing how having a child gives you a new perspective on things, or better focuses your perspective. And, that’s what growing through life is about – Perspective. One thing I’ve learned is that as you move through life – you go to college, get a real job, get married, buy that first house, and have a child, your priorities change, as does your perspective on life. You have a kid and you start to think differently. It’s not all about you. You get extremely excited when he rolls over for the first time, when he hits that ball to the outfield, or when he finally rides that bike without training wheels. And you think about your mortality more – you don’t take as many risks, you think more about the future and providing for your family. You think about the person that you want your child to grow into. Raising him is the single most important thing Kristy and I will ever do. The actions we take and the decisions we make in these years will affect generations to come. Generations. Think about that.

One of the things I see with Joseph more and more every day is how much he wants to be like me. He wants to dress like I dress, watch what I watch, say the things that I say, and do what I do. While Kristy holds a special place in his heart and will always be his mother and share a special bond with him that I cannot even imagine, I see now that I will directly shape the man that Joseph is to become.  He watches me constantly, and because of that, it makes me strive to be a better man and be that positive example. And quite frankly, that scares the hell out of me a bit because I am by no means perfect.  In seeing how sons idolize their fathers, it pains me to see so many out in the world with with poor male leadership in their lives. And through this process of sculpting Joseph to be a good person and to think about others, he has in turn made me want to become a better man as a result, and has made me think about things from a new perspective and get out of my comfort zone and do some things I don't want to do or that I am not comfortable with. And thats a good thing.  I want to become better, so that I can better others, most importantly my son.  I realized this year that I have a lot to improve on in order to accomplish this, so I have focused on bettering myself - personally, professionally, and spiritually.

And wouldn’t you know it, last week, my church launched the new program “That Man is You”, which is focused on making better fathers, husbands, and leaders of men to address the problem of failed male leadership in our society, whether it be in the home, in the business world, or out in the community. It runs every Friday from 5:45am to 7:30am, and we had our second meeting today. It has been worth getting up that early to be with positive, Catholic men, that have the same challenges, fears, and questions that I do. With it being conducted via the church, there is obviously a Christian foundation to the program. But in looking at the program’s premise, what we are talking about is true and relevant regardless of whether you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, or Atheist… You get my point.  We’re talking about right vs. wrong and listening to your conscience and abiding by moral values, and being a responsible man for your family and society. All kinds of statistics show that the moral fabric of our society has broken down over the course of the last 50 years. You can skew these stats any way you want, but a central issue is that people feel they have the right to do whatever they want without any consequences. And, you can specifically trace a lot of this to the failure of male leadership in the family and society. I’m not just talking about fathers who are not physically there, but men who are not the leaders they should be and setting the example they should be. This is not just as fathers in the household, but also perhaps as important, as business and community leaders. Some of our most powerful business and political leaders are some of the worst when it comes to moral values, and these are the mentors and role models for our young men coming out of high school/college.  I’ve learned already there are a lot of aspects to look at here, and many places for all men to improve, especially myself - whether it’s in the home as fathers and husbands, in the workplace as employees or business leaders. I’ve been fortunate to be around some great men, and some not so great men.  We all have the capability to lead, to be servant leaders and great examples for our youth; we just need to realize that potential. In today’s world – the challenges are great, with technology, social media, TV/movies and the resulting lack of personal interaction and communication all contributing. But the men of this country need to step back, and take a look at themselves from a different perspective, be a man and lead by example.

Over the next several months, I’m going to try to do just that, and blog about these topics and many more, and my experiences along the way focusing on what I learn from this program so that I can share it with others and get you thinking. My hope is that people, specifically the men reading this can maybe think about how they act, what they contribute to society, and the examples they set. I’ve realized I’ve simply just existed up to this point in my life, benefiting from the opportunities I’ve been given.  It’s not good enough to just exist. You have to DO, and contribute to the community and society to make a difference and to set a proper example. At the very least, this will serve as a journal that Joseph can read one day and a means for me to help mold Joseph and his peers into the men that the world drastically needs them to be, and to become the man the world needs me to be.